Are You In A Curriculum Cult?
One of the first questions I get asked as a longtime homeschool mom is, “What curriculum do you use?”
This is a well meaning question at heart and a very practical one for an enquiring new homeschool mom to ask. However, have you ever met someone that’s been homeschooling a while and she asks you the same question, but it feels…loaded? Maybe you already know her family participates weekly in a Co-op based on a specific curriculum or homeschool philosophy she follows.
When you respond to her inquiry with your hodgepodge of choices and you can tell by the look on her face that she feels her choice is superior, you don’t quite know where to go with the conversation.
As Christian homeschooling parents, we all put bountiful hours of prayer and research into finding the best books, tools, and resources for our family. We basically wear the receipts like a badge when we post pictures of what we’ve found to work for our family on social media. We are excited to share what we’ve found.
Sharing our finds is incredibly helpful to other families that are in a quandary about what they should use in the coming year and thanks to you, they found a solution. There’s nothing wrong with sharing and celebrating your wins because your friends and family want to celebrate with you. There’s also nothing wrong with adhering to a particular teaching style, curriculum, or philosophy. Having consistency and fluency in your day to day homeschool rhythms and operations is a solid plan for success.
The problem I’ve found though, is that sometimes we start to feel this pride swelling up about our curriculum choices. Our words and actions tell others that if they don’t use what we use, they are missing out on the greatest thing ever and they are probably not giving their child the best education because of it. I have been that person giving those judgy looks at times! Eek!
All of us want what’s best for our children, that’s completely healthy, but the struggle becomes when we think we know best for the children of the other homeschool mamas we know.
I know cult is a strong word to convey the severity of the attachment to one particular curriculum or philosophy, but I have seen some crazy relational hurts happen in my 12 years of homeschooling caused by the rigidity, pride, and dare I say idol families have made out of their curriculum choices.
I’ve seen or experienced:
friendships dissolve because of families deciding to break away from a curriculum that all their friends use.
disapproving looks from moms that were die-hard fill-in-the-blank curriculum users and I wasn’t one of them.
factions break off of long established co-ops because some families decided they weren’t going to strictly adhere to a particular philosophy anymore and were going to start a new co-op took a more laid back approach.
We can love using what curriculum works for our family while loving and encouraging our friends that are doing the complete opposite. Friends, there is a better way to engage in the homeschool community and build each other up than criticizing what books our friends use or what co-op they attend. We don’t only have to run in circles with those that use the same history or art curriculum as our family. We left the oppressive system that held every child in the same classroom hostage by making them use the same book or measuring stick to learn a subject. Why would we try and impose that system on individual homeschools by thinking that our way is the best way because it works for OUR family? Parents have great freedom to select the materials and methods that enhance their homeschool family culture.
Here are five questions to ask yourself to see if you’re part of a homeschool curriculum cult. In other words, five questions to check your pride level about your homeschool choices:
Do you think that the curriculum or philosophy you chose is the ONLY way one can successfully homeschool?
Are the only friends you and your children have in your homeschool circle using the same curriculum you use?
If one (or more) of your children are not thriving with your choice in curriculum or educational philosophy are you unwilling to pivot and use or do something different to meet their needs?
Would you feel like you lost a part of your identity if you no longer participated in your curriculum or philosophy to homeschool your children?
Would you lose your community of homeschooling friends if you decided to use a different curriculum or go to a different co-op that teaches from a different perspective?
If you answered NO to all of those questions, fabulous! You are conquering what’s set before you in a way that works for you while allowing space for your friends to do the same. That’s the mark of a good friend. You are on the right track to being an encouragement in your local homeschool community.
If you had to pause on one or a couple of the questions, take a moment to write out your thoughts and reflections. Pray about why you hesitated. What gave you pause? Is the answer yes or no after contemplating the question?
If you answered a definitive YES to one or more of these questions, take a moment to write out why you said yes. Is it possible your curriculum or philosophy is becoming an idol in your life? Pray and ask God to reveal through His word His heart for your homeschool.