Homeschool, Work and Missions with Dayle Annand
Summary:
Ever wondered how to balance homeschooling while maintaining a career or active ministry? On the Show Me Homeschool podcast, join Erin as she dives deep into these challenges and more alongside special guest, Dayle Annand. Dayle, a seasoned homeschool mom turned missionary, offers a heartwarming narrative of her experiences homeschooling across the globe, working outside the home, and volunteering. Her journey highlights the flexibility and adaptability required in homeschooling, especially when combined with other life commitments.
Links & Resources:
Homeschool Minnesota podcast, available wherever you listen to podcasts
Mom Guilt with Erin episode on Homeschool Minnesota podcast
Carpooling with Jesus podcast
Connect with Erin & Joe at Show Me Homeschool:
On Instagram, @show.me.homeschool
On X, @ShowMeHomeSch
On Pinterest, @showmehomeschool
Be sure to leave a rating and review, and subscribe so you never miss an episode! For questions or comments email us: info@showmehomeschool.com
Transcript:
Erin [00:00:00]:
Hi. Welcome back to the Show Me Homeschool podcast. Today, I am super excited to introduce you to my friend, Dale Annan. We met through our mutual volunteer worlds, at a conference and became fast friends. And I'm very excited to have her today talking about volunteering in homeschooling, working in homeschooling. I have so many questions all the time about that very topic. You know? So many of us homeschool moms are are not, quote, just homeschooling. We also have part time jobs, full time jobs, ministry that we're attending to.
Erin [00:00:40]:
I'm Erin.
Joe [00:00:41]:
And I'm Jo.
Erin [00:00:42]:
We're the hosts of the Show Me Homeschool podcast, where we guide parents through the wilderness of home education. Each weekly episode will focus on supporting and encouraging homeschool moms and dads through conversational interviews with like minded Christian leaders in the homeschool
Joe [00:00:58]:
community. In our experience, we've seen the lack of resources and support available for homeschool dads. So we want to address that by covering relevant topics concerning husbands and fathers as they lead their families through this lifestyle of home education.
Erin [00:01:11]:
We understand the need for creating connections and building authentic relationships to sustain a healthy homeschool environment for yourself and your children.
Joe [00:01:20]:
Our goal is not to show you how to replicate our homeschool, but to show you how you can create a home learning lifestyle that is sustainable for your family.
Erin [00:01:28]:
Show Me Homeschool is here to come alongside you. So welcome to the show, Dale.
Dayle Annand [00:01:39]:
Thank you. I'm so glad to be here, Erin. And, yes, we did meet very, very quickly. The first night we were at a conference, and we just became fast friends. So
Erin [00:01:48]:
Yes. I love it. So, Dale, why don't you tell us a little bit about what you're currently doing, and we can go backwards in your story.
Dayle Annand [00:01:57]:
Well, my husband and I live in Minneapolis. We are full time missionaries. We have been full time missionaries. We've been in full time ministry our entire marriage. We've been married thirty two years. That's a long time. Anyway, we've been married thirty two years. We have three children, four grandbabies, soon to be six.
Dayle Annand [00:02:17]:
We're very excited. And we homeschooled for twenty two years. We were full time youth pastors, our early marriage, and then we moved into the full time mission field after that.
Erin [00:02:29]:
Wow. So and currently, you're in Minneapolis, and you are volunteering with the state org there.
Dayle Annand [00:02:36]:
Yes. I'm their director of outreach, min Minnesota Association of Christian Home Educators, but we call it MECHAY.
Erin [00:02:42]:
Yes. I love it. And you also host the Homeschool Minnesota podcast.
Dayle Annand [00:02:47]:
I do, and you were just on my podcast. Yeah. Fun.
Erin [00:02:50]:
That is exciting. Yeah. Yeah. And podcasting in itself is I love it. It's so fun. I never thought I would ever do anything like this, but it's kind of like my my fun thing that I do. And it's homeschool related. Like, it just kinda is something fun to do.
Erin [00:03:06]:
So was homeschooling something that you thought that you would do forever? Was it something that was thrust on you because of circumstances? Was it due to missions? Tell us why you started homeschooling.
Dayle Annand [00:03:16]:
I started homeschooling because I'm a very good wife, and my husband said, I think we should homeschool in a nutshell. But, you know, it was one of those things where he really felt like that was something that would be right for our family, and I was absolutely not okay with it. I just I was like, no. I think that's weird. I I don't understand why you would wanna do something like that. That feels very, like, middle age y to me. We live in a really we live in a small town. It has a really good school.
Dayle Annand [00:03:45]:
Why would we put our kids why would we put our kids there? What are we gonna do about their friends? I mean, all the typical questions that you ask yourself when you're getting ready to homeschool your child. I I was just not a babe of it. And so I said, listen. I'll give you one year. And if if after that year I absolutely hate it, then we'll just put them in school. And, you know, I hated it after one year, but I thought, well, let's try another year. Maybe it just was one of those weird years. And then the second year, I still hated it.
Dayle Annand [00:04:12]:
But for some reason, God had just put it in my heart to just stick it out and see what happens. And then I met somebody who just really showed me because I had just done it the wrong way. And we could this is a whole podcast in and of itself, but I had just called, a publisher that does homeschool curriculum and said, send me first grade. So they sent me all the first grade. So I was trying to do school at home, not homeschooling. And there's a big, big, big, big difference. And, I didn't realize that's what I was doing, but I had nobody to show me anything different. And yeah.
Dayle Annand [00:04:42]:
And I had a wonderful woman who came into my life who was a homeschooling mom, and she just really showed me the difference between school at home and homeschooling.
Erin [00:04:52]:
Oh, I love those moms. We all I think we all have a a mentor mom story of, like, I wouldn't still be homeschooling if it wasn't for this woman and her wisdom and grace to bring me into her her group and and shine her light on us. Exactly. That's so cool. So you start homeschooling. You hate it. You find the light that you're trying a new thing here. During that time, were you missionaries at that time? Or
Dayle Annand [00:05:22]:
We were full time youth pastors. Okay. But I was also working outside of the home. I, worked a couple of different things, but the main thing that I did is, we had been just trying to figure out how are we gonna do this. We actually need the extra income. And so we were just kinda praying about it. And down the street from us, a day care center opened. And I thought, well, I mean, I'm pretty good with kids.
Dayle Annand [00:05:48]:
Maybe I'll just go see if they need any help. And I went in and they hired me. I said, but I wanna be the school age teacher. And is it okay if I open the center and then come back later and close the center? And she was like, oh my gosh. That's like a dream come true, of course. And so I would go in at 05:30 in the morning and open the center. I would get the school age kids off on their school bus in the morning at eight 08:15, and I would go home. And then I wouldn't have to go back until 02:30 in the afternoon or quarter to three and pick the kids up from the bus and bring them back in, and I was home by six, six thirty.
Dayle Annand [00:06:20]:
So I got to be home all day, but still work almost a full time job. I love that. Yeah. It was a blessing for our family. It was a blessing for me. It was a lot of work. It took a lot of planning. But yeah.
Erin [00:06:33]:
That's so good because one of that is the question. Well, what could I do as a stay at home mom? Because, you know, we hear about the side hustles and those kinds of things or MLMs, and I that's here nor there. But I it's just what are we gonna find that actually brings in a steady income? And doing something like that is a really great idea. So if you're a mom listening and you're like, hey. This is something that might be something I'm interested. I know a single mom who's homeschooling. She drives a school bus, and her Mhmm. Employer will allow her to take her children on the bus with her during her route.
Erin [00:07:07]:
So she's kinda similar situation. Early morning, later afternoon, home all day with the kids, can bring them to her job. So there are options that are flexible, that maybe are outside the box. You know, as a homeschool mom, you wouldn't think maybe I should work for the school district, and maybe that's something that you would never wanna touch. But, you know, they do have before and after school programs.
Dayle Annand [00:07:27]:
They do.
Erin [00:07:28]:
Yeah. I worked before I had kids. That's that's what I did was before and after school care.
Dayle Annand [00:07:32]:
Yeah.
Erin [00:07:33]:
Kinda same thing. Opened up at 05:30 and got them all ready, and they went to school and came came back for the afternoon. I was in college at the time, but Yeah. Could totally apply to homeschooling just like it did
Dayle Annand [00:07:43]:
for me. Job. Yeah. It was great. And and like you said, I could bring my kids. You know, I didn't bring in them a lot because, you know, there were there were issues. I I just didn't you know, just some kids just aren't hurting children. Let's just put it that way.
Dayle Annand [00:07:58]:
I wouldn't call them they weren't bad. They weren't they were just kids who were hurting, and they didn't know what to do with all that hurt, and so they would act out. And I just didn't necessarily want my kids around that Yeah. On a regular basis. But when we would do field trips and things, I would bring my kids with me, and it was wonderful. Yeah. They got to experience a lot of fun stuff. So
Erin [00:08:15]:
Very cool. So Yeah. Working mom, homeschool mom Yep. Then into the mission field.
Dayle Annand [00:08:21]:
We did. We took that big old jump into the third world country, and it was just interesting. Our kids were a little bit older. We had been homeschooling for several years, and God called us to Guatemala. And so we sold everything, packed up our bags, and moved to Guatemala and up in the mountains and lived there for ten years homeschooling and working in full time missions. It was a whole different challenge, but still having to try to balance you know, we were pioneering a base there, a mission space. And so there wasn't, like, all these extra people that could do all this extra work. We all had to pitch in including me.
Dayle Annand [00:09:01]:
And so there was the walking that fine line of making sure that I was working enough to be a part of the team, but not so much that I was leaving my kids without doing what I needed to do for them. Mhmm. And it was it there were tricky times where it was just very like, when we would have a team come down on a missions trip and, trying to figure out, okay. Now how do we balance this? But you know what I found is that homeschooling allowed me to do everything I needed to do because you can be flexible with homeschooling. Mhmm. I was able to just, you know okay. Well, this week, we've got a team, guys. So, you know, we're gonna get up in the morning and do math and reading, and we're gonna take a break from everything else this week.
Dayle Annand [00:09:43]:
And then next week, we're gonna pick up where we left off. And we just wound up schooling all year long and taking time off when we needed to for different things, and it worked out perfectly for us. But it was hard. You had to really be organized. Yeah.
Erin [00:09:55]:
Well okay. So I would like to touch on two things. First, the flexibility piece because as homeschool moms, working homeschool moms
Dayle Annand [00:10:03]:
Mhmm.
Erin [00:10:04]:
People you know, volunteer moms, Our days don't always look the same every single day. So talk about systems maybe that you put into place to Yeah. Help through that.
Dayle Annand [00:10:14]:
Yeah. Well, we don't we have to remind ourselves, we're not doing school at home, guys. We're doing homeschooling. So we don't have to have school start at 09:00 or 08:00 in the morning and go until two or three in the afternoon. Well, who's to say that we can't have a morning job and do our schooling in the afternoon and then into the evening a little bit? Or we do we we have our our school week is actually, you know, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday because dad's a pastor and Sunday's a work day and Monday's a day off, so that's our family day. I mean, you know, our mom has a job and that's what works for them and for us. So we have to remind ourselves that there's nobody in the background saying, well, you have to do Monday through Friday, you know, from September to May, and, you gotta take, you know, this much off at Christmas and this much off for spring break. You get to decide because you're in charge.
Dayle Annand [00:11:00]:
You're the parent. You are in control of that whole schedule. It is so freeing to realize that I don't have to run a school in my house. I get to educate my kid. That's a whole different thing. When you change your mindset on that, then having a job actually works better for you because you realize that school can happen in a lot of different ways. And, so one of the things that I did is, I did meal planning. So because we had to be flexible, one of the things that I couldn't take a lot of time to do then is make these make meals a lot during our day because my my hours were so crazy.
Dayle Annand [00:11:38]:
So on Saturdays, I would, plan my meals for the week. If I was gonna make a lasagna, I would make two, and one would go in the freezer. And it was all ready to go for the next next time I needed a meal that I didn't have time to make. I would go to the grocery store. I would come home. I would have my menu set out. I needed ground beef for this, and I needed it browned up because we're gonna have tacos. So I would do all of that.
Dayle Annand [00:12:01]:
I would ground up brown up all the ground beef for tacos, chili, whatever I needed it for, sloppy joes, whatever. And I would put it in different bags and label it for what it's for, what day of the week, and throw it in the freezer. And same thing with chicken or whatever meat I had. It was already, you know, cooked. I just did a lot of cook ahead stuff and things that that froze real well. And I would make, like, a big pot of soup and maybe, like, a chili or something and have that in the fridge for quick lunches. We did I would make, a bunch of pancakes on a Saturday morning and freeze, you know, every day of the week, you know, enough pancakes, you know, this so this is Monday's breakfast, Wednesday's breakfast, Friday's breakfast, and then Tuesday, Thursday, we would do cereal or something. You know, just different things like that.
Dayle Annand [00:12:44]:
I just always try to think ahead. So these are things that you can do. One of the other things that that I did is I just made sure that I had a realistic schedule for our family. And sometimes that means that, we don't get to do all the extra things. So we didn't do, like, all those, you know, homeschool swimming days and homeschool coop days. We did have a coop, and we were very active in our coop that was one day one morning a week, and we did that. And then everything else, we just did when we could.
Erin [00:13:12]:
Yeah. That's a really good point because I think it you know, we talked in the episode that we recorded for your podcast, which I recommend you listen to. It's Homeschool Minnesota podcast. It's all about mom guilt and Yes. Realistic expectations, seasonal expectations. You you didn't, you know, you didn't always homeschool in the same way. No. So talk about curriculum then because as a homeschool mom that's running full time ministry, full time homeschooling, or part time working, full time whatever, how first off, in Guatemala, how did you get your curriculum?
Dayle Annand [00:13:45]:
So this is where Dale had to, you know, lean into Jesus a little bit because I I am ADHD. I am not an organized person. I very much struggle with organization. I have to really focus. Focus is hard for me. I was ADHD when it wasn't a thing that was diagnosed. It was just, Dale is really antsy and she has a hard time sitting still, you know, all through school. Why is it that she's, like, always going in different directions and she can't keep her mouth shut? And that was me, and I own it.
Dayle Annand [00:14:14]:
It's okay. I still can't do all those things, you know. But I had to in Guatemala when we were there. I had to plan my school year and have all my curriculum ordered and ready to go by February for the next year, in September when I would whenever, you know, we would start school again. But we always I mean, we just schooled all year round. But whenever I was done with one science curriculum, I had to have the other one ready to go. And so I I had to really be organized and I had to have a plan. And, I had to there was no mail service where I was at.
Dayle Annand [00:14:48]:
You couldn't ship in boxes at the time. They would not get to your house because we didn't necessarily have an address. I mean, we did, but we didn't. It never got mail the whole time I lived there. Ten years, never got mail. But we did have teams that came down regularly for missions trips. And for either for us in our ministry or for the church that we went to. And so I would write to the people who were coming, and I'd be like, hey.
Dayle Annand [00:15:12]:
Would you have room in your luggage for your team to bring down some homeschool books for our family? And always, I don't think I had one team say no. We just don't have room for that. Always, they were like, oh my gosh. Yes. Anything you need. What else do you need? Do you need notebooks? Do you need crayons? Do you need markers? You know, which I didn't need because we could get that stuff there. But I would have to order the books then and have them shipped to my mom, and then my mom would ship them to whoever's coming down. So I paid double shipping, and that would just drive all you homeschool moms crazy.
Dayle Annand [00:15:40]:
I know. But Yeah. It is what it is. Right? Right. Provided, so that's how it has to be. It was interesting. The thing that was the most fun was when we hit high school and had to do biology and had to get, like, a fetal pig brought down
Erin [00:15:53]:
Uh-huh.
Dayle Annand [00:15:54]:
In somebody's luggage, and they were going to customs with it. And people were like, what is I'm not you know, and they wouldn't even ask me to just look at it, look at them, and look at them, and be like, we're not asking any questions. We're just gonna let the American through. And and, you know, and so we had to bring down biology specimens and all kinds of interesting things. But you know what I learned about me is that where my weaknesses are, God is strong. Right? And everything I do is weakness anyway. He's strong everywhere. But even in the areas where I know I'm not like, I can say I'm not organized, but you know who is? God.
Dayle Annand [00:16:27]:
And you know who who lives inside of me and is giving me life? Jesus. And Jesus is God. So I can rely on him to help me be organized and plan ahead. So that's what I did. And it was interesting because I was telling Aaron that, you know, we didn't have a library. We didn't have Kindle. We didn't have our Internet was sketchy. I mean, it would sometimes it would work great.
Dayle Annand [00:16:49]:
Other it works really good now down there. But when we first got there, we would sometimes have it and sometimes not. I could not rely on those things. We didn't have YouTube or American television or any of that and until much later when we lived there. But I remember, just the Lord just took care of it. If I needed to do a literature curriculum and there were there was suggested reading, I had to order every single book and and have it shipped down, because I couldn't just go to the library. And, you know, we did this on a missionary budget. And God, every year, you guys I just always say this, but, you know, he is more invested in your kids' success in education than you are.
Dayle Annand [00:17:27]:
Like, he needs them well educated. He needs them well read. He needs because he has a plan for them and they're walking into a world that is increasingly, increasingly anti Jesus. And he wants them to succeed. He needs them to be ready for the kingdom. And so he will do move heaven and earth to get you what you need. And if you don't have it, it's because you probably just don't need it. You just think you do.
Dayle Annand [00:17:52]:
That's one thing I learned.
Erin [00:17:53]:
Yes. And that's such a hard truth because, you know, especially in America, we have in certain parts of, you know, our state, we have a lot of resources. We are I could be gone every single day of the week doing some sort of homeschool enrichment or activity. And so I think that as moms, especially moms that are working or trying to bring in income, you do feel that guilt or you feel like your kid's not gonna get the best education because you can't participate in all of those things. But, really, those are extras. They're nice. And when you can do them, they're great, but that does not constitute a well rounded education Yeah. You know, to be all those places all those times because at the at the end of the day, you are working.
Erin [00:18:39]:
You're busy. You've got ministry to do. And your first ministry, like you said, is your children. Absolutely. And running all over town to do the latest greatest thing, is it the best thing for for your child? That's for you to decide. But as moms, you have to have that realistic expectation, not only for your budget, but for your time and the relationship. And a lot of times as homeschool moms, do you wanna talk a little bit about how maybe a time where you had to pull back or some things were happening that made you reevaluate your priorities?
Dayle Annand [00:19:11]:
At one point, in our ministry, we had been running, running, running, running, and, there were only three of us on the base staff wise. And there was just Guatemala is a very team rich place where a lot of people wanna bring teams there because it's very easy to get there from The United States. It's a relatively cheap trip, but there's so much, like, to do. And you get a really awesome experience. We still lead trips to Guatemala, and we love it. We love it. It's kinda selfish in a way because then we get to see all our friends who we just Right. And we just speak Spanish, which we enjoy.
Dayle Annand [00:19:41]:
You know? I love speaking Spanish. But, anyways and I remember at one point, it was just it was overwhelming because our our oldest daughter was going coming out of middle school and going into, like, high school. And I'm like, I have to focus, like, really focus on her education. She was college bound. She wanted to be an RN. She didn't wanna be just any kind of an RN. She wanted to be a a specific kind of an RN. And it was gonna take a lot of science, which I am not great with, but I knew that I had to teach her because it wasn't like I could farm it out at a co op.
Dayle Annand [00:20:16]:
Mhmm. After I was when we did have a coop, turned out I was a science teacher. Scary, but it worked. It worked, you guys. But, anyways, we you know, I just said to Mark, I my husband, I don't know how I'm going to do all of this and homeschool at the same time. Our kids are getting older, and they they need my focus. And so we just went to our step the other staff. By that time, we had gotten more staff on base.
Dayle Annand [00:20:43]:
And we just said to them, you know, Dale is running a discipleship school in her home in our home. And she's discipling three kids. Well but and also, a friend of ours who was an American who has had their kids down there, their daughter was also going to I was homeschooling her as well. Because I lived in Guatemala. Nobody cares if I homeschool 45 kids. It's not a thing. But I was homeschooling her as well because she was the same age as my girls. It worked out great.
Dayle Annand [00:21:10]:
She just jumped right in. It was like, it's what's one more kid?
Erin [00:21:14]:
Mhmm.
Dayle Annand [00:21:14]:
And, so we were you know, I I was like, I really need to focus. I really need to not be pulled in so many different directions. And so I had to really prioritize and put down some boundaries. I love that word, you guys. It is not a scary word. It is freedom. It is freedom for you when somebody puts down boundaries with you and is because then you're free in that relationship when somebody says, this is my boundary that I really wanna make sure that we don't cross. Mhmm.
Dayle Annand [00:21:41]:
Then you know. You know what's you're not accidentally making somebody mad or resentful. There's just this clear communication. It is such a healthy, wonderful thing. What a blessing to be able to do boundaries. Right? And so I we just put down some boundaries in that these are the only days that I can do full time. I decided I was gonna be the full time team coordinator because I could do that from home. I don't have to be on base for it.
Dayle Annand [00:22:04]:
And so I worked with all the teams that were coming in, and the day to day running of the base was everybody else's job. And it worked well. It did. I was still you know, we also had a ministry to homeless people, and we would bring but that happened late at night because that's when, you know, they're around. And so that's when we would go out and feed them and do all the things we did. And we just got our kids involved in that, and they loved it. You know? We didn't force that. I don't believe in forcing your kids to do ministry.
Dayle Annand [00:22:30]:
I think they should try it. But when it resonates with them, continue. But, But, you know, not everything is not everybody is called the homeless ministry, and that could be somebody living in your own home too. Mhmm. And so we had to just be really careful, like, just because we're a missionary family doesn't mean our kids are gonna be in missionary mode all the time. They're they're kids.
Erin [00:22:47]:
Mhmm.
Dayle Annand [00:22:48]:
But yeah. And so it was just really having to communicate clearly what our boundaries are and then listen to what their expectations are and figuring out how that's gonna work. And if you have a job outside the home I mean, I like I said, I was working in a job before we went on the mission field, and it was the same thing. These are my these are my hours, and they would try always because they're they're they're short staffed or whatever. And I'd be like, I'm so sorry, but I educate my kids at home, and I'm I I can't stay late today. There were a couple of times where I'd be like, you know, I can. My husband's gonna be home, so I'm gonna let him just start, you know, math with the kids or whatever. And and when I get there, we'll just finish we'll just get going on everything else.
Dayle Annand [00:23:28]:
But for the most part, it was being very clear with what they could expect from me and using those boundaries and allowing God to just not taking on mom guilt.
Erin [00:23:37]:
Yes. Well, I love what you shared about boundaries, and I completely agree. And especially when we're doing things as moms where I am very passionate about volunteering in a specific area, but that doesn't mean my kids are. Now it's a good experience for them to see mom doing those things and serving the community and all of those, and I try to bring them along as much as possible to introduce them to those things. But Yep. I love what you shared about that because, I mean, that could be a whole other separate podcast in and of itself, not just three kids.
Dayle Annand [00:24:06]:
Our three kids were in completely different realms. Let me
Erin [00:24:10]:
tell you. But Yeah. Awesome. So then we've talked about kind of a more, like, your curriculum, setting those boundaries. What would your advice be to a mom who's listening who's, like, you know, maybe feeling God stirring in her heart, like, that maybe she does need to set some of those boundaries and pull back from from those things a little bit. What would your advice be to a mom who's, like, I'm drowning?
Dayle Annand [00:24:34]:
Yeah. Well, it's interesting you asked because I'm actually speaking at a homeschool mom burnout event on Monday night.
Erin [00:24:41]:
Oh, perfect. That's the topic. So I'm ready.
Dayle Annand [00:24:46]:
First of all, your sisters in Christ are not your enemy, and they aren't out to hurt you. They're not out to get you. They're not out to make your life hard. They're not out to not make you feel valued or loved. They are on your side. And if they're not, that you'll know. You'll know. But most of them, they're they're for you.
Dayle Annand [00:25:07]:
Right? They're for you. And so when they put down a boundary with you, take it as a loving thing and not as a chastising thing. Take it as this person values our friendship enough to not just ghost me, but to actually come to me and say, hey. Maybe we could try this. You know? And you do the same for others. You know? It's a merciful thing. You know? Jesus did this with his disciples. Like, I'm gonna go to the other side of the lake.
Dayle Annand [00:25:34]:
You all can or you guys go to their side. Like, I'm going to join in a little while. But it's like, I need a break from you all. Go over there. You know, I mean, it's not the same as as what we do. But, you know, it's important for us to understand that, when we don't put down boundaries, what are we saying to our children who are watching our every move that they shouldn't either? What are we telling our young girls when they watch mom run and run and run and never take time for herself, never clearly define a relationship with somebody or a friendship with somebody or put down a boundary with somebody, and then come home and be all frustrated and and, you know, and just kind of snippy at everybody and everybody's walking on eggshells because mom's upset and nobody knows why. What are we conveying to them about the kind of women that they should be? And I always I had to think about that and it's like, you know, lord, I need to do better. And so I think boundaries are just so healthy.
Dayle Annand [00:26:33]:
And I I feel like with boundaries, it's it it has gotten such a bad rap, but it's such a godly thing. Back in the day when, I don't I I I hear focus on the family is still a thing. I haven't you know, I I've experienced it, but I it used to be, like, just a big, big thing. And I there was there was this, this illustration that they did of this playground, and they had a playground built with, like, swings and monkey bars and Ferris wheel I mean, the whole thing. And and they they put these kids out of this beautiful playground. They said, you guys can just play as much as you want in this entire playground, and the kids stuck to the equipment. And every once in a while, they kinda wander off a little bit, and then they'd run over to the equipment. And they were playing on the equipment, but they were just on, like, this just on the swings.
Dayle Annand [00:27:20]:
And if they weren't swinging, they were waiting, or they were playing on the monkey bars or on the slide or whatever. Then they built a fence around the whole perimeter of the of the playground area, and it was much larger than just where the equipment was. And they put the kids and they said, you can play anywhere you want. And those kids were climbing trees and climbing the fence and running and chasing and playing tag because they knew where their boundaries were. There was freedom in those boundaries. And I think that we have in our world has mistakenly taken boundaries and looked at it as slavery. Like like, this is this is them trying to, you know, quench me or trying to make me feel like something that I like, I can't express myself. This isn't freeing.
Dayle Annand [00:28:04]:
Maybe slavery is the art not a not the right illustration. That's probably a little more harsh than it needs to be, but it makes us feel like somebody's trying to dampen who we are. And, really, boundaries are meant to be not used as a weapon to make somebody feel bad, but done in a way that is godly, loving, merciful, and full of grace can be the most healthy thing that you can do for somebody and the most healthy thing that you can do for yourself. And so, as a missional mom, as a working mom, as a homeschool mom, I think the very first thing you need to do if you're feeling overwhelmed is stop, take a look at your boundaries, and go, okay. What are my priorities? My husband and I, every year at the towards the end of one year that before we start another year, we sit down with our calendars, we open them up for our for the next year, and we the first thing we do is we put all of our family time in there. The weekends we're gonna be with the kids, the times we're gonna see the grandkids, when we're gonna have a date night, vacation, if we're gonna go on any kind of a vacation or anything. We put all that in the calendar first, and then we fill it in with everything else because that's our boundary. Our kids and our family come first, and that's what Jesus wants it anyway.
Dayle Annand [00:29:20]:
Right? Mhmm. Now that's not to say that that's exactly how it happens because we also need to understand that there are times when you have to just go, listen, guys. This is what's gonna go on. This person is hurting, and we need to be there for them. And that's that's the way it needs to be, but that shouldn't be, like, all the time. Mhmm. It just shouldn't be all the time. And so when you're when you're looking at, like, what can I do? I'm feeling overwhelmed.
Dayle Annand [00:29:44]:
I don't know if this homeschooling thing is working. I'm trying to work a job, and I'm feeling so ready to go. You know, there's a lot you can do. You can put down boundaries with your kids. We're gonna have chores, and this is what you're gonna be responsible for. We are a family, and our it is our responsibility to keep our home beautiful and and not perfect, but relaxing and clean, and we're not getting sick because we're not sleeping. Right. You know, and food is you know, we're gonna all take turns doing things and take making sure that things are done.
Dayle Annand [00:30:13]:
We're gonna have an organizational chart that has that, and we're gonna follow through on it. And so that's a boundary. You're going to, you know, maybe plan for one of the things that I did for myself was on a Friday morning, yes, in the morning when I'm a homeschooling mom, I went to a women's bible study for years. And why? Because I don't do school at home. I do homeschool. I can homeschool in the afternoon and take time for myself on a Friday morning and make sure that I'm being taken care of too. And so making sure that I am my needs are being met so that I can meet the needs of my kids. And what's that doing? That's giving them permission when they get older and they become the parents to do the same for themselves.
Dayle Annand [00:30:54]:
Mhmm. And that makes you a better mom. Whatever makes you a better person around Yeah. Much more of a joy to be around.
Erin [00:31:02]:
Well, I love that. Oh my goodness. I'm just thinking about, like, as a homeschool mom, we get these shiny new planners every year, and I love that you and your husband take that time. And, oh, I know. I'm a paper girl. I have to have it. Have to have multiple action. Yeah.
Erin [00:31:17]:
So I I just I love that you do that. So as moms and as homeschool moms and as people, like, I struggle with the same kind of distractibility. I am not a nationally organized person. You're not gonna see me, you know, with a shiny spreadsheet. Mm-mm. Excel hates me. I'm I'm pretty sure my husband he's like every every time he helps me with an Excel project, he's like, I've never seen this happen to anyone before. And I'm like, I told you, I just don't know what it is.
Dayle Annand [00:31:44]:
Sourdough starter all over again.
Erin [00:31:47]:
Yes. But talk about the spiritual filling up because we can talk all day about our practical, like our schedule and our tasks and all of those things. But as a as a mom who's busy, who's working in homeschooling and doing every single thing she can possibly do to serve other people and give out. Yeah. How do you find time or make time in your schedule for spiritual
Dayle Annand [00:32:09]:
life? That's a good question. You can't give what you aren't getting. You can't give you can give for a while from an empty because that's God's grace and mercy. He gets it. Sometimes we just get, like, spread really thin. And in his grace of mercy, he allows us to keep giving, but there will come a time when he will say, hey. Listen. I love you too much to let you keep going like this because we need to have relationship.
Dayle Annand [00:32:36]:
And so to me, the most important thing you can do as a mom is make sure that you are spiritually taking care of yourself. The biggest example you can give your kids is a mom who prays and a mom who gets in the word and a mom who teaches the word and a mom who is serious about God and who really does make God the center of her life. And so, to me, there are multiple ways you can do that. I'm gonna give you a couple of them. I had my quiet time at night because mornings were chaotic, and I'm not a morning person. And for a long time, I felt guilt about that, mom guilt about that, you know, where I just felt like, gosh, you know, I they say you should get up in the morning, and and everybody says you should get up in the morning and and be with Jesus. Then I read about Susanna Wesley, and I read about Ruth Graham Bell or Ruth Bell Graham. Sorry.
Dayle Annand [00:33:26]:
Wrong wrong gram. Anyway, and I and I Susanna Wesley had 19 children. Charles Wesley, John Wesley, nineteen kids. All of them turned out amazing. All of them served the Lord. They were doctors, preachers, lawyers, teachers, moms, dads. They were amazing people. She would be doing her work in her in her kitchen, and this was, like, not when you had a microwave or a stove or a refrigerator.
Dayle Annand [00:33:52]:
If you wanted milk, you went and found a cow and milked it or a goat or whatever you had. I mean, this was not this was, like, way back in the day. Right? And she would get something going, and then she would sit at her kitchen table, put her apron over her head, and pray and seek the Lord or read the word. And her her kids knew that if they came in the kitchen and mom had the apron over the head, unless it was an emergency, you don't bug mom while I was talking to Jesus. That's what you do. And so now we don't have to be, like, in our kitchen with our apron over our head. But what we can do is give ourself a break. And Ruth Ruth Bell Graham, you know, she was Billy Graham's wife.
Dayle Annand [00:34:28]:
And back in the day, Billy Graham, when he would go to Europe to do a whole, you know, crusade, he was gone for, like, six months because you took a ship. You didn't take a plane. You took a ship over there. And if you're gonna ship everything over there, you're gonna make it worth your while. So she was basically a single mom with five kids for six months at a time. And she had to figure out her way, and that was she did the same thing. She would just be in the kitchen with the and if her bible was open unless it was an emergency, you didn't bother mom. You know, you respected that.
Dayle Annand [00:34:59]:
You respected that time. Now, obviously, there are gonna be times when your kids need to interrupt you and you don't need to overreact to that. But you do need to gently remind them, you know, that could have waited until mom was done kind of a thing. And just, you know, right now, mom needs to do this for herself. So one of the things that you can do is, there's this thing called morning basket. I don't know how many of you have ever heard of it, but it's kind of a newer concept, and I kinda like it where there's a basket in your living room. And when you wake up in the morning, give yourself a break as a mom and don't have the big full breakfast. Maybe do some meal prep ahead of time, and you've got stuff in the freezer like, you know, freezer sandwiches.
Dayle Annand [00:35:37]:
There's all kinds of websites that talk about, you know, how to prep ahead things, and you can find those. But, and have them in the freezer and and just prepare. You know, maybe you made oatmeal or maybe you just do cold cereal or maybe there's just yogurt parfaits or I don't know. Whatever you wanna do, but make breakfast something simple. You know? Just make it simple so kids can go in and help themselves. And then, and then clean up after themselves. And you are in, you know, in the living room, on the couch, with your cup of coffee or whatever it is you drink it. I don't drink coffee, so I'm more like, you know, my water.
Dayle Annand [00:36:11]:
And I'm, you know, reading the word, and your kids are welcome because in a basket next to you are their Bibles or books about the Lord, you know, maybe some Christian books of some kind or missionary tales or if for younger kids coloring books about Jesus, things like that, where they can then come in and join you and sit down on the couch and join you and do the same thing. And it's just a time of just maybe you have quiet music playing, and then at the end, you all come together and maybe you do a little devotional time together and start your day off that way. I had to do my time at night because I'm not a morning person. I'm not a morning person. I'm not. And none of my kids are either, so it was very complicated. So I just did it at night. I just made sure that I went to bed about, you know, an hour early, and I would take time.
Dayle Annand [00:37:00]:
It was tempting to watch a movie or to read a regular book, but I made sure that next to my bed was my bible and a devotional, and I did that. And I would journal well, I didn't journal. I should say I would occasionally write down my thoughts. I'm a horrible journaler. I would encourage you to journal. Don't do as I do. Right?
Erin [00:37:21]:
It's like every new journal is like, dear diary, I'm sorry I didn't write the last one.
Dayle Annand [00:37:25]:
The potential in the world in those pages, and it becomes, like, my shopping lists and all the other things. But but, you know and just making yourself that time, like, my Friday morning bible study. I I know my I knew myself well enough to know that being in a bible study helps me to be in the word of God better. If I'm just trying to read the word for myself, my again, the ADD, it kicks in and I I'm distracted. And everything just seems to be going through my mind during that time. But if I'm actually following a study, I do better. And I knew that about myself, so I prioritize that. I would just encourage you, your time with the Lord is the most important thing you can do for yourself, and it's the best example you can set for your kids.
Dayle Annand [00:38:08]:
Don't rush it. You know? You can get to history. You can get to science anytime. But if you're really truly having a time with the Lord and and there's conversation happening, don't rush it. You know? Give it what it deserves. You know? There's a lot of really good things. I just did a podcast with somebody called Carpooling with Jesus. That's the name of the podcast.
Dayle Annand [00:38:29]:
Mhmm. And the guy it's a five minute episode every day, and every day is a is a quick bible, like, a verse that he brings out, and it's like maybe he talks about kindness or faithfulness. And it was meant to be, his kids go to a go to a school, and so he his his wife does it on their way to to school. But you can do it while you guys are cleaning up after breakfast, just having it playing in the background and and listening to it or you use it as a devotional. And and at the end of it, it's meant he asks a question that is meant to start conversation with your kids about whatever it is that they talked about, and it all is very bible friendly, bible oriented. It's great. And, so I would check out that, it's carpooling with Jesus. But, yeah, just that example of putting Jesus first in in your life is something that is invaluable to give your kids.
Dayle Annand [00:39:19]:
It really is.
Erin [00:39:20]:
Yeah. It's one of the questions that I see pop up in a lot of Facebook groups is what Bible study are you using for your kids? And it's like, start with what are you using, mom? And and maybe then it wouldn't be, like, a separate curriculum. Like, we don't have to have a curriculum for everything. It could be open up the the Proverbs, for the day, and you read that something in the Old Testament, something in the New Testament. It really can be as simple as that. Yeah. I think we sometimes we can even overcomplicate our our spiritual lives where we think we have to have something. So, Dale, it's been lovely chatting with you.
Erin [00:39:53]:
I'm so happy to have you on. We're gonna have to chat again soon. Yeah. So if you guys would like to listen to Dale's podcast with, Homeschool Minnesota, you can find that anywhere you listen to podcast. Well, I appreciate you so much. Thanks for coming on.
Dayle Annand [00:40:08]:
Thank you. I appreciate you too, Erin.
Erin [00:40:10]:
To learn more about booking one on one or group homeschool coaching sessions with us, upcoming events, see our speaking schedule, or to get access to more resources, be sure to check out our website, www.showmehomeschool.com, and sign This episode was sponsored by Podcast with Faith, our favorite Christian podcast production company.